No one wants to hear what you have to say :( 

Have you ever felt like this? 

If I had a dollar for every woman my age who had been told that children should be seen and not heard, I would be the richest woman on the planet. 

Or for those who were told that they were greedy if they asked for what they wanted, and that what they wanted didn’t matter because there were more important needs to be taken care of and those needs just about always belonged to someone else who was more important than us. 

And we didn’t hear these things once or twice throughout our childhood.  We heard them over and over and over with great passion, so it was literally drummed into us that speaking up made no difference. 

Worse than that, speaking up sometimes made us a target for anger, and possibly even violence. 

So, it should be no surprise to know that one of the greatest needs of many of my counselling clients was, first and foremost, to be heard. 

The validation that comes from feeling heard is a powerful experience, and people will pay for that experience because being heard is such a deeply held basic need for human beings. 

It’s also the beginning of the healing process for many of the deepest wounds. 

So why do we need to heal and what has this got to do with writing books? 

There are so many reasons why we might want to find our voice and learn to speak up in a powerful way, and writing a book is a powerful way to learn how to do this. 

Self-validation: There is nothing more validating than hearing yourself speak up for yourself.  It is a powerful affirmation that you believe in yourself, and you believe in what you have to say.  

Self-expression: Speaking up allows us to express our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, giving us a sense of identity and authenticity. It helps us communicate our unique perspectives, experiences, and values, fosters a deeper understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

Empowerment: When we find our voice, we gain a sense of personal empowerment. It allows us to assert our needs, desires, and boundaries, and leads to increased self-confidence and self-esteem. Speaking up empowers us to take control of our lives and make choices that align with our highest values and aspirations. 

Advocacy and social change: Speaking up enables us to advocate for ourselves and for others who have not yet found their voice. It gives a voice to marginalized communities, helping to highlight social injustices, discrimination, and inequalities. By speaking up about important issues, individuals can raise awareness, mobilize support, and drive positive change in society.

Building meaningful relationships: Finding one’s voice and expressing oneself openly fosters deeper connections with others. It allows us to engage in authentic conversations, share our ideas and perspectives, and build meaningful relationships based on mutual understanding and respect. Speaking up can also help us to manage conflict resolution more successfully by promoting more open dialogue and addressing misunderstandings.

Personal and professional growth: Learning to speak up gives us the confidence to assert their opinions and contribute to decision-making processes. By sharing our ideas, we can participate in collaborations, problem-solving, and innovation. Speaking up also enhances leadership skills, as it enables individuals to influence and inspire others. 

Overcoming fear and self-doubt: Many people struggle with fear, self-doubt, and the fear of judgment when it comes to speaking up. However, finding our voice and gradually learning to speak up can help us to overcome these fears. It allows us to step out of our comfort zones, build resilience, and realize that our perspectives and contributions have value. 

Why write a book? 

Recording our thoughts, ideas and experiences in writing is often less threatening for those of us who fear speaking up, and for those of us who don’t know how to speak up. 

We can follow a process of expressing ourselves in a safe space – a journal or a note app on our computer – where no one can judge us or tell us we have no right to speak. 

We can review what we have written in our own time and space without any pressure from anyone else and we can be sure that what we have written meets our need to express ourselves in a way that is meaningful for us and for anyone we might share our writing with. 

We can choose whether we want to share our writing or not.

If we do decide to share our writing by having it published, we can be sure we do it in a way that is responsible, and safe, and helps others to do the same. 

If this resonates with you and you are longing to find your voice and express it, reach out and join us in our Book Writing Challenge

I will give you the structure you’ll need to be able to share your story in a way that will first be healing for you, and second, help you create something that will make a difference to others, if that is what you choose to do. 

You’ll be in good company, and we would love to be a part of your journey, however long it takes you to complete it. 

Join the Book Writing Challenge here


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